Well, there's a very simple answer.
No one bothered to check the oil.
We just didn't know we were getting low.
The reason for that is purely geographical.
Our Oil Is Located In:
*** Alaska *** California *** Coastal Florida *** Coastal Louisiana *** Coastal Alabama ***
Coastal Mississippi *** Coastal Texas *** North Dakota *** Wyoming *** Colorado ***
Kansas *** Oklahoma *** Pennsylvania *** And Texas.
Our Dipsticks are located in DC.